Key points
- Common fantasies for women include threesomes with two men, being dominated, sex with other women or famous people, being desired, romance, giving oral sex, public sex, and even non-consensual scenarios like rape (as a controlled fantasy).
- Women’s fantasies often focus on emotional connection or closeness, unlike men’s, which tend to involve anonymity or multiple partners.
Think you’re the only one who fantasizes about sex?
A 2023 study reported that about 90-97% of the general population have sex fantasies, so you’re not definitely alone.
But do fantasies differ by gender? Are there any similarities? And what do women fantasize about that men don’t?
Here’s what experts and the research say about common sexual fantasies in women.
What is a sexual fantasy?
Before we get into the specifics, let’s get clear on what we’re talking about.
Sexual fantasy is like a mental playground, says Sofie Roos, a licensed sexologist, relationship therapist, and author at the Swedish sex advice website Passionerad.
“It’s a daydream or a wish for a sexual activity that you’d like to happen or that you get turned on by when thinking of, and that can help you enjoy the sex or masturbation more. If thinking about it during sex,” she says.
Roos gives examples of common sexual fantasies, including:
- Having sex with a specific person
- Trying a kink or fetish
- Having sex in a certain place
- Sleeping with a fictional character
“Some fantasies can be made a reality, but others will always stay a dream,” Roos adds.
8 common sexual fantasies in women
Let’s get into women’s top sexual fantasies.
1. Threesome with two men
A 2014 study found that, out of 799 female study participants, 56% reported fantasizing about having sex with two men at the same time.
It’s a classic power dynamic — a woman as the center of desire.
2. Being dominated in bed
The same study also reported that nearly 65% of participants fantasize about being dominated in bed.
But don’t confuse domination with aggression.
It’s often about feeling desired and letting someone else take the lead. As Roos explains, it could be as simple as a partner taking charge during sex or spicing things up with some gentle BDSM elements like spanking or spitting.
“It can simply be someone in command who knows what they want but does it in a caring and gentle way,” she says.
3. Intimacy with other women or famous people
Women are more likely than men to fantasize about same-sex encounters — sex with other women.
They’re also more likely to fantasize about having sex with famous people like musicians, influencers, or actors, according to a 1997 study.
4. Being an object of desire
Picture this: You’re dolled up wearing makeup and sexy lingerie. Do you feel like the most desirable person in the room? Does it make you feel hot and bothered? If so, then you might get turned on by being the object of desire.
A 2015 study compared fantasies in 198 men and women. They found that women were more likely to fantasize about being objects of desire than men.
5. Romance
Sexual fantasies don’t always have to be raunchy — they can involve romance, too.
According to a 1995 research paper, emotions and romance are more likely to show up in women’s erotic fantasies than in men’s.
“Women often fantasize about experiencing romantic feelings during sex, and to feel in love and feel deeply attracted to the person they are being intimate with,” Roos says.
6. Giving oral sex
Fellatio, performing oral sex, giving head, sucking dick — call it what you want. Using your mouth to stimulate a penis is another common sexual fantasy in women.
Going back to that 2014 study, a whopping 72.1% of female participants fantasized about giving oral sex to a male partner.
7. Public sex
Another sex fantasy among women is engaging in risky sexual acts out in public.
Fifty-seven percent of female participants from the 2014 study had a sexual fantasy about having sex in a public place.
8. Rape
Sixty-two percent of women fantasized about being raped at some point in their lives, according to one research study from 2009 that surveyed 355 female undergraduates.
But it wasn’t as common as a frequent fantasy. About 14% reporting that they had these sexual fantasies at least once a week.
It’s important to note that fantasizing about being raped or abused does not mean a person wants it in real life. Fantasy is a safe, private way to explore taboo feelings and scenarios without risk. In reality, the person fantasizing is still the one in control.
Are women’s sexual fantasies different from men’s?
That 1997 study we discussed earlier? It found that men were more likely to fantasize about sex with complete strangers and with multiple partners compared to women.
On the flip side, women’s fantasies tend to be about people they have close relationships with or famous people.
Read our article on men’s top sexual fantasies for more.
The final word
Women’s fantasies can be sweet and emotional or bold and kinky — and all of them are valid.
So, don’t judge yourself. If you feel safe and excited to explore a fantasy, go for it! It might just be what you need to infuse excitement into your sex life.