Inner child work is psychotherapy in adults that involves patients learning to speak to their own inner child with kindness and compassion to reframe their negative feelings and harmful core beliefs.
In inner child work, the inner child refers the child the adult patient once was. Everyone has an inner child. Some therapists believe the needs and feelings of the inner child are a major part of a person’s personality that drive their behavior as an adult, usually subconsciously.
In other words, they think that as adults we have some of the same feelings and reactions we had as children as a result of early formative experiences.
For that reason, inner child work can involve recalling negative memories from childhood that are triggering dysfunctional behaviors or beliefs in the present.
The therapist may work with the patient to change the way they think about their core beliefs as they were shaped by that childhood event.
One goal of inner child work is for the patient to become aware of their inner child, its needs, and its feelings about distressing events. That way, the inner child is no longer subconsciously driving the adult’s behavior.
The next goal is to consciously change the way the patient thinks about these negatively charged childhood memories and the harmful core beliefs. The therapist may do this by having the patient learn to speak to and care for their inner child with kindness and compassion.
This is what people call “reparenting your inner child.”
- Who should get inner child work?: Almost anyone can benefit from inner child work. It can be used for adults with maladaptive, harmful, or “childish” thoughts and behaviors (i.e. most of us). It’s often used in adults who experienced adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), often called childhood trauma, which are linked with numerous physical and mental health issues in adulthood.
- What kinds of therapists do it?: Many different kinds of therapists can use inner child work as part of the therapy they offer, including as part of art therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and psychodynamic therapy.
- Process of inner child work: Patients become aware of how their inner child is driving their harmful behavior and thoughts as an adult. Then they take on the role of a caring adult to calm and comfort their inner child whenever they’re upset in the present.
- Goals of inner child work: The ultimate goal is for the patient to learn to take on the parent role for themselves during difficult life moments, calming and comforting their inner child to change their feelings and improve their reactions in the moment.
- Types of inner child work: There are many different therapies and practices that therapists can use as part of inner child work. It can involve techniques like role playing, using art therapy, writing letters to the inner child, and more.
- Effectiveness: Inner child work may really help. One study found that one type of inner child work called “Healing the Child Within” or “inner child integration” significantly improved all measures of well-being in people with ACEs, including depression, anxiety, insomnia, and sleep quality.
- Other words for inner child work: Inner child therapy, inner child integration therapy
For a deeper dive into inner child work and related topics, read these Relationship Smart articles:
- How Reparenting Your Inner Child Helps Your Relationship
- Love vs. Codependency: How to Trust Yourself
Science writer and founder of Relationship Smart. A bad boss once scoffed at her decision to study psychology, calling it "pseudoscience." She's had a chip on her shoulder ever since. This website is her response — because the world of our minds is real, important, and studyable. Relationship Smart is here to answer all your burning questions about relationships with scientific rigor and sensitivity.