Codependency is a harmful relationship in which one person is overly emotionally dependent on the other. It can lead to mental and physical health issues over time.
The words codependent or codependency can also be used to refer to a single person’s thoughts and behaviors. These people have a greater tendency to have codependent relationships.
Some sources have suggested as many as 90% of people have codependent relationships or behaviors to some degree.
- Signs of a codependent relationship: Signs include focusing on another rather than yourself, sacrificing your own needs for the other, conflict, control, and avoiding expressing emotions, according to one review article.
- Types of codependent relationships: Codependent relationships can happen between people in any type of relationship, including romantic partners, friends, and family.
- Causes of codependency: People with codependency issues describe having experiences of abandonment or being overly controlled as a child, having repeated long-term issues with emotions and relationships, and having an unclear sense of their own identity. Some experts have called codependency a non-chemical addiction.
- Roles in a codependent relationship: In a codependent relationship, one person in the relationship acts as the giver, or caretaker, while the other person acts as the taker, or dependent.
- Effects of being in a codependent relationship: Codependent relationships can be harmful over time, leading to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and aggression toward oneself.
There’s a lot of research out there on codependency, but experts still debate the definition of codependency. It isn’t listed as a psychiatric disorder in the DSM-V (Diagnostic Statistical Manual V) — the official list of psychiatric disorders recognized by doctors.
Read these Relationship Smart articles for a deeper dive:
- Codependency in Relationships: Meaning, Signs, Stages, and More
- Are You the Caretaker in a Codependent Relationship?
- Can a Codependent Relationship Be Saved?
- Codependency vs. Interdependency: Understanding the Difference and Finding Healthier Connections
- Love vs. Codependency: How to Trust Yourself
- How to Break the Cycle of Generational Trauma: Expert Q&A
Health and science writer and founder of Relationship Smart, Stephanie believes the world of our minds is real, important, and studyable, and that our social relationships are core to our well-being — much more than we give them credit for. She created Relationship Smart to explore the endless ways our relationships affect us, and to answer all your burning questions about them with scientific rigor and sensitivity.