Basics

What Is Oxytocin? The Love Hormone, Explained

Oxytocin is famous for making us feel good around other people.

It’s a hormone made in our brains and other tissues that’s involved in many everyday life events and behaviors, including social bonding, the milk let-down reflex in breastfeeding, contractions of the uterus that help mothers give birth, pair bonding, mate guarding, sexual pleasure, and parenting behavior.

It’s known for its involvement in feelings like empathy, trust, and the tend-and-befriend response, and for rewarding us with feelings of well-being for maintaining positive social connections.

In other words, oxytocin does a lot.

Researchers are finding it’s involved in a lot more than body processes than they once thought. Beyond relationships, oxytocin also affects the cardiovascular, immune, and digestive systems, to name a few.

  • Other names for oxytocin: The love hormone, the love drug.
  • Who has it?: Everyone. It’s famous for its role in maternal behavior and breastfeeding, but it plays critical roles in males and females in many everyday situations.
  • Why is oxytocin important?: It plays an important role in social development during childhood. It may be a way in which experiencing nurturing in early life is linked with the ability to bond with others, including romantic partners, as an adult. That’s not to mention the roles oxytocin plays in non-social aspects of health, like the immune system.
  • Signs or effects of oxytocin in relationships: It may reinforce good feelings in social and pair bonding. Research has shown that having higher levels of oxytocin enables people to get greater feelings of well-being from social interactions, such as greater feelings of love in response to a partner expressing gratitude.
  • What does having high oxytocin feel like?: Oxytocin doesn’t seem to give a “high” feeling, but it’s associated with greater experienced love. On the other hand, a drop in oxytocin, which can happen in someone who loses a romantic partner, for instance, can have dramatic effects in the brain, causing a depression-like state. However, its effects on mood depend on the situation.
  • Can it have negative effects in relationships?: Some evidence suggests that the effects of oxytocin depend on the person and their social context. In situations that feel unsafe, the hormone may promote defensive or “anti-social” feelings and behavior. Research suggests people’s reactions to oxytocin in threatening situations may depend on their attachment style.
  • Can oxytocin be used as a treatment?: Oxytocin is thought to play a role in many brain disorders, including major depressive disorder, anxiety, mood disorders, Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer’s disease, autism, and schizophrenia. It may also help with pain relief and addiction. More research is needed.
  • How can people naturally increase oxytocin?: Breastfeeding, being physically close to other people, affectionate touch, singing in a group, and exercise — especially group exercise or team sports — have all been shown to boost oxytocin levels. Doing these activities in low-stress, socially positive situations may help.

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Stephanie Orford
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Science writer and founder of Relationship Smart. A bad boss once scoffed at her decision to study psychology, calling it "pseudoscience." She's had a chip on her shoulder ever since. This website is her response — because the world of our minds is real, important, and studyable. Relationship Smart is here to answer all your burning questions about relationships with scientific rigor and sensitivity.

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