Oxytocin a hormone famous for making us feel good around other people.
It’s made in our brains and other tissues that’s involved in many everyday life events and behaviors, including social bonding, the milk let-down reflex in breastfeeding, contractions of the uterus that help mothers give birth, pair bonding, mate guarding, sexual pleasure, and parenting behavior.
It’s known for its involvement in feelings like empathy, trust, and the tend-and-befriend response, and for rewarding us with feelings of well-being for maintaining positive social connections.
In other words, oxytocin does a lot.
Researchers are finding it’s involved in a lot more than body processes than they once thought. Beyond relationships, oxytocin also affects the cardiovascular, immune, and digestive systems, to name a few.
- Other names for oxytocin: The love hormone, the love drug.
- Who has it?: Everyone. It’s famous for its role in maternal behavior and breastfeeding, but it plays critical roles in males and females in many everyday situations.
- Why is oxytocin important?: It plays an important role in social development during childhood. It may be a way in which experiencing nurturing in early life is linked with the ability to bond with others, including romantic partners, as an adult. That’s not to mention the roles oxytocin plays in non-social aspects of health, like the immune system.
- Signs or effects of oxytocin in relationships: It may reinforce good feelings in social and pair bonding. Research has shown that having higher levels of oxytocin enables people to get greater feelings of well-being from social interactions, such as greater feelings of love in response to a partner expressing gratitude.
- What does having high oxytocin feel like?: Oxytocin doesn’t seem to give a “high” feeling, but it’s associated with greater experienced love. On the other hand, a drop in oxytocin, which can happen in someone who loses a romantic partner, for instance, can have dramatic effects in the brain, causing a depression-like state. However, its effects on mood depend on the situation.
- Can it have negative effects in relationships?: Some evidence suggests that the effects of oxytocin depend on the person and their social context. In situations that feel unsafe, the hormone may promote defensive or “anti-social” feelings and behavior. Research suggests people’s reactions to oxytocin in threatening situations may depend on their attachment style.
- Can oxytocin be used as a treatment?: Oxytocin is thought to play a role in many brain disorders, including major depressive disorder, anxiety, mood disorders, Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer’s disease, autism, and schizophrenia. It may also help with pain relief and addiction. More research is needed.
- How can people naturally increase oxytocin?: Breastfeeding, being physically close to other people, affectionate touch, singing in a group, and exercise — especially group exercise or team sports — have all been shown to boost oxytocin levels. Doing these activities in low-stress, socially positive situations may help.
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For a deeper understanding, explore these related articles on Relationship Smart:
- What Is Emotional Safety and How to Create It in Your Relationships
- How Often Should You Talk in a Long-Distance Relationship?
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- Love vs. Codependency: How to Trust Yourself
Health and science writer and founder of Relationship Smart, Stephanie believes the world of our minds is real, important, and studyable, and that our social relationships are core to our well-being — much more than we give them credit for. She created Relationship Smart to explore the endless ways our relationships affect us, and to answer all your burning questions about them with scientific rigor and sensitivity.