What Is Authoritarian Parenting? ‘My Way or the Highway’

“Because I said so.”

Authoritarian parenting is a harsh parenting style in which parents closely control their children’s behavior, but discourage open communication, and aren’t warm or emotionally responsive.

Some researchers have called it “adult-centered” because it prioritizes the parent’s needs. In this style of parenting, the parent often sets strict rules and expects obedience without giving the child any explanation.

Authoritarian parenting has been shown to negatively affect child development, including academic performance.

What does authoritarian parenting look like? Parent behavior in authoritarian parenting may include:

• Exerting power over the child with commands, threats, physical force, or love withdrawal
• One-way communication in which the parent tells the child what to do but does not accept feedback
• Strict rules and high expectations
• Parent doesn’t explain the reasoning behind rules
• Expecting obedience
• Requiring children to meet high standards without making mistakes
• Punishing mistakes
• Low levels of affection, warmth, and nurturing behavior

Here are answers to a few more basic questions about authoritarian parenting:

• Who are authoritarian parents?: It’s possible for any parent to use an authoritarian parenting style. Parents sometimes use a mix of different parenting styles, which can change depending on context. Parenting style can vary widely across different people, genders, families, and cultures. Authoritarian parenting tends to be more popular in some cultures, such as Chinese, Indian, and Malaysian, than in Western cultures like the United States. In one small study, fathers said they were more authoritarian on average, but their partners were more authoritative or permissive. Mothers in the same study rated their parenting style as more authoritative but not permissive.
• Does authoritarian parenting have benefits?: At first glance, kids raised with authoritarian parenting might seem like model children because they may be very well-behaved and follow instructions well. But that comes at a great price. This behavior is thought to be rooted in a fear of making mistakes and can result in many negative life outcomes. Children raised with authoritarian parenting may also be more likely to rebel against authority figures as teenagers or later in life.
• Harms of authoritarian parenting: Research has found it’s strongly associated with lower levels of self-esteem, shyness, lack of social skills, lower academic achievement, anxiety, social withdrawal, higher levels of aggression, and tendency toward behaviors that are associated with alcohol misuse in later life. It’s also associated with obesity and lower levels of self-value and self-reliance. It may make children less confident in making decisions on their own. Children may be more likely to self-harm.
• What’s the opposite of authoritarian parenting?: Permissive parenting may be the closest opposite to authoritarian parenting defined by researchers. Permissive parents don’t set many rules or provide guidance for their children, but are emotionally responsive and give them high levels of warmth and affection.
• Other names for authoritarian parenting: Tiger parenting, among some Asian Americans.

The term authoritarian parenting sounds a lot like authoritative parenting, but don’t mix them up. Authoritative parenting is a very different parenting style that’s associated with the most beneficial outcomes for children.

For a deeper dive on parenting and related topics, explore these Relationship Smart articles:

• Which Parenting Style Is Most Encouraged in Modern America?
• This is What a Toxic Relationship Feels Like: 4 Signs
• What Is Emotional Safety and How to Create It in Your Relationships
• What Is Co-Regulation? Definition and Tips
• Alloparenting Benefits, How to Do It, and FAQs
• How to Break the Cycle of Generational Trauma: Expert Q&A