Permissive parenting is a parenting style in which parents or caregivers are warm and loving, but don’t set or enforce many rules or boundaries for their child. The parent doesn’t discipline or hold their child to expectations, and avoids conflict with them.
This style of parenting can be thought of as child-centered, though it may have harmful effects on children over the long-term. Parents who engage in permissive parenting provide their children with a lot of affection and are highly responsive to their children’s needs.
But the problem is, these parents don’t provide much guidance.
As a result, children who receive permissive parenting may not develop the skills to manage their emotions, which may encourage the development of unwanted social behaviors. Children may engage in inappropriate behaviors more frequently, such as aggression.
Research has shown that children who receive permissive parenting were more likely to show physical aggression in preschool, school, and the teen years.
Children of permissive parents may find that some of the social rules they learned from their parents — like what behavior is considered OK — don’t apply outside the home.
- What permissive parenting looks like: Permissive parents rarely redirect, guide, or discipline their children when they do unwanted behaviors. But they do provide their children warmth, affection, and encouragement.
- Who are permissive parents?: Any parent may use a permissive parenting style. Parents sometimes use a blend of parenting styles, and their approach can vary depending on the situation. It can vary on average across genders and cultures. In one small study, fathers reported that they saw themselves as more authoritarian and their partners as either more authoritative or permissive. Mothers saw themselves as more authoritative but not as permissive. Food for thought.
- Benefits of permissive parenting: The warm, nurturing parenting behavior in permissive parenting may benefit children. Permissive parenting is weakly associated with positive self-esteem in children when parents had high levels of warmth, though authoritative parenting appears to have stronger benefits for self-esteem.
- Problems with permissive parenting: Research has shown it may lead to the development of aggressive behavior in children, reduced competence in social situations, a higher risk of obesity, anxiety, and other negative effects on behavior and physical and mental health. Some studies have found no association between permissive parenting and performance at school, but children were absent from school more often than those who had authoritative parent(s).
- Cultural differences in parenting: Major differences in parenting exist between cultures. For example, some Asian cultures tend to have more authoritarian parenting traditions, while people in Western cultures prefer authoritative parenting, in general. Cross-cultural studies have shown that the current framework of parenting styles, including permissive parenting, may not adequately capture the nuanced differences between cultures. Still, authoritative parenting is currently considered the most beneficial parenting style around the world.
- How does permissive parenting compare with other parenting styles?: Permissive parenting is often discussed alongside other parenting styles, including authoritarian and authoritative. Authoritative is considered the most beneficial. Unlike permissive parenting, authoritative parenting promotes actively guiding the child, setting boundaries, and enforcing rules. At the same time, authoritative parents are warm and loving toward their child.
- Other words for permissive parenting: Indulgent parenting, laissez-faire parenting.
For a deeper dive on parenting and related topics, explore these Relationship Smart articles:
- Which Parenting Style Is Most Encouraged in Modern America?
- What Is Emotional Safety and How to Create It in Your Relationships
- What Is Co-Regulation? Definition and Tips
- Alloparenting Benefits, How to Do It, and FAQs
- How to Break the Cycle of Generational Trauma: Expert Q&A
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