What Is Stockholm Syndrome? Defending the Perpetrator

Stockholm syndrome is when a person who has been abused develops an emotional attachment and sometimes positive feelings toward the person who abused them.

The abused person comes to identify with the perpetrator(s), understanding where they’re coming from and sometimes justifying their abusive behavior.

Some experts have suggested that Stockholm syndrome is an unconscious adaptive strategy of the abused person to appease and calm the perpetrator, de-escalate the situation, and avoid further harm.

The strategy may work because this appeasing behavior may help coregulate the captor or perpetrator.

Appeasement in Stockholm syndrome is thought to be categorically different from a positive emotional bond (e.g. romantic love) between two people because it’s thought to be a trauma response motivated by the victim’s survival instinct when they’re under threat.

The term Stockholm syndrome originated from the behavior change observed in hostages of a bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden in 1973. The captors held the hostages for 131 hours in the bank, reportedly treating them with a mix of kindness and violence.

The hostages began to engage in friendly behavior toward the hostage takers, such as smiling and playful conversation. They took their captors’ side, justifying their captors’ behavior as a response to the threat of police.

Some hostages came to have a negative perception of the police that were trying to rescue them, seeing the police as a threat to their captors.

• Other names for Stockholm syndrome: Traumatic bonding.
• Signs of Stockholm syndrome: The abused person justifies the perpetrator’s behavior, and both people may have positive emotions and attitudes toward each other, but negative attitudes toward others outside the situation who are against the perpetrator, such as police. The person experiencing abuse may feel grateful to the perpetrator for letting them live and may appreciate small kindnesses from them.
• Situations where it happens: It has been observed in people who have experienced hostage situations, human trafficking, intimate partner violence, and sexual abuse of children.
• Power imbalance: Experts have observed Stockholm syndrome especially in situations when the perpetrator has much more power than the captive person. The perpetrator often inflicts violence and mind control, and the other person often believes they can’t escape.
• Empathy may increase risk: Some research found that empathetic women who experienced intimate partner violence were at greater risk of developing traumatic bonding with their abusive partner than less empathetic women, as measured by a scale of empathy.
• How can people recover from Stockholm syndrome?: The treatment depends on the person and situation, but doctors and therapists often focus on helping the person who experienced the abuse feel that they are no longer in danger. This can be a challenge since many people who experienced life-threatening or prolonged trauma feel that danger is always present. It’s also important for the person to experience social and family support, rather than feel blamed or distrusted because of their behavior toward the abusive person.

For a deeper understanding of trauma and related topics, explore these articles on Relationship Smart:

• How to Heal From A Toxic Relationship & 7 Signs You’re in One
• 7 Ways Childhood Trauma Can Affect Your Relationships
• What Is Emotional Safety and How to Create It in Your Relationships